3 Interviews about Women
Hülya Aşçı: You know women’s conditions in Turkey is different than other countries. I wanted to interview with you because I know you work both in your homeland and in Germany. What do you feel about being a working woman in abroad and in your homeland?
Gülcan Aşçı: Firstly, I can’t say that in Germany, they always make me feel foreign. Because, I had both Turkish friends and German friends that helped me a lot. I worked in a small tailor shop with one of my girlfriend. We had lots of male customers and I don’t remember that they had foul impression for me and her. As our job looks like mostly women can handle. But there are lots of male workers too. In contrast to this, there are lots of female taxi drivers in Germany 20 years ago. Unfortunately, there are still very few women taxi drivers in Turkey today. Some part of the turkey still thinks that women should stay at home and cook but what I saw in Germany 20 years ago from today is that women are free.
Hülya: what do you mean about free?
Gülcan: I mean, it is up to them to work or stay at home. And they are free to work wherever they want to work. Employers didn’t care if it is woman or man.
Hülya: You think that in Turkey women can’t choose their jobs freely?
Gülcan: They should. Of course they can choose their jobs but in Turkey women can’t trust male employers. Because as we know and read from TV’s or magazines, male employers in Turkey mostly can’t look women as a professional worker. They look them just as a female. But in Germany, women work in same conditions with men.
Hülya: What do you remember about your job in Turkey? I think you worked in Istanbul and it had been very long years hasn’t it?
Gülcan: yes, I was very young and single in those years. I worked in Teşvikiye PTT. I didn’t meet with bad things in that job. In comparison with East side of Turkey, Istanbul is very comfortable and smooth. They were my best years. But if I had worked in east side of Turkey, I’m sure I wouldn’t be that much comfortable or relaxed. I didn’t meet with insulting eyes. But I know one of my friends went to Diyarbakır for compulsory service and she came back after 5 mouths. Because in the village that she went, they did never let their kids to school and when she said that they should let them to go, they scolded her very badly. Then they started to look her as if she did wrong thing to become a teacher.
Hülya: I’m very pleased such things don’t appear anymore.
Gülcan: Yes me too. And I hope this sexism in some of the men’s and women’s mind clear away completely. So that women can get rid of this pressure.
Q: It is said that housewives are the heaviest workes when compared to women who are in business world. Do you think so? Why?
A: ıt is a common saying among us,the housewives :) and as a housewife I think so, too J Because housewives have lots of responsibilities and they also struggle with all the problems of life on their own. We do not only do the houseworks, but also think every detail that you even dont recognize. Besides, we dont have any vacation and dont get paid for our work. We are non stop free workers J
Q-2: Would you rather be working now? Why?
A-2: Yes, because working women are much more respected today and they can be free from the houseworks. I mean, they are welcomed even if they dont do all of the housework. Their responsibility is just seen to be outside the home. Of course there are many working women who also do the houseworks, and they are appreciated when they also work at home. However, even housewives do the same thing everday, they are not appreciated. And if I was working now, you would not be expecting everything from me as you do now :)
Q-3: What do you think has changed about workin women since your time?
A-3: In those days, women did not have many opportunities as they have now. We did not have many choices and also women were not welcomed or rather approved when they wanted to work. In spite of the respect they have now, they were outcasted. I mean as the number of working women were not so much those days, it was not something to be perceived as normal. Women’ responsibility and duty was just within the home.
An Interview with Fatma Tufecioglu about Being a Woman in Turkey:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a woman in Turkey?
It is very difficult to be a woman in the conditions of Turkey. Woman works outside home and makes Money. She comes home and does housework, cooking, deals with her children and stuck in all these things. What about man? When he comes home no matter how much he helps his wife the burden is on the woman’s shoulder. Of course, there are advantages. If the husband is chatty and has sense of humor, if he wants to seize the day, he creates a positive atmosphere at home. He also makes the household happy. This comforts the woman. Anyhow, I cannot ignore the fact that men are more selfish and only think of themselves most of the time.
Are you married? If so, what do you think about marriages?
I am married. Marriage lasts forever if there is love and respect. Our marriage with your father is a good marriage because we have love and respect to each other. Couples should do different things to make the marriage better. We should avoid monotonousness. We should get rid of our selfishness. If woman and man have something to say depending on the situation, marriage becomes more bearable and even enjoyable. Then marriage can be seen as more of a positive constitution.
As a working mother, what burdens does marriage cause to you?
It is really difficult to be both educationist and a mother because I am more conscious about things. Being conscious brings about burden and responsibility. You have to work hard to be a successful business woman at work and be a good mother and a wife at home. Of course, you see the result of your sacrifices when the years go by. Your kids grow up, take responsibilities, and stand on their own feet...how happy you’d be. As a conscious, knowledgeable mother, I believe that I raised my children in the best way.
Do you think women and men are equal by means of the laws?
I assume that they are equal even though the laws are not so equal. I think the inequality comes from our traditions.
Does an effort on making the marriage a good one bring extra burden?
Woman has to sacrifice a lot for her marriage. No matter how mild the husband is, if the wife does not do housework, cleaning, cooking etc. Things would fall apart. Everyone becomes unhappy. When household becomes unhappy, family ties start to tear apart. The husband and the children hope to find food ready when they are home and they become happy. This strengthens one of the most important factors in a family.
Fatma Tüfekçioğlu’yla Türkiye’de Kadın Olmak üzerine bir röportaj:
Türkiye’de kadın olmanın getirdiği avantajlar ve dezavantajlar nelerdir?
Türkiye şartlarında kadın olmak çok zor. Kadın dışarıda çalışır, para kazanır. Eve gelir, ev işleri, yemek, çocuk derken işlerin arasında sıkışır kalır. Ama erkek öyle mi? Erkek eve geldiğinde eşine ne kadar yardımcı olursa olsun yine de yük kadındadır. Eh tabii avantajları da var. Hele erkek iyi konuşan, şakacı biriyse, gününü dolu yaşamak istiyorsa eve geldiğinde de evde pozitif enerji saçar. Evdekileri mutlu eder. Bu da kadınını rahatlatır. Ama söylemeden geçemeyeceğim, yine erkek bencilliğini gösteriyor, kendini düşünüyor.
Evli misiniz? Evliyseniz evlilik hakkında ne düşünüyorsunuz?
Evliyim. Evlilik karşılıklı sevgi ve saygıya dayalı olursa sürer. Babanla aramızda saygı ve sevgi olduğu için evliliğimiz çok iyi gidiyor. Evliliği daha güzel hale getirmek için ara sıra değişiklikler yapmalıyız. Monotonluktan kaçınmalıyız. Bencillikten kurtulmalıyız. Yerine göre erkeğin, yerine göre de kadının sözü geçiyorsa, evlilik daha zevkli bir hale gelir. Evliliğe karşı daha olumlu bakılabilir.
Çalışan bir anne olarak evliliğin size yüklediği sorumluluklar nelerdir?
Çalışan, eğitimci bir anne olmak gerçekten zor. Hele de daha bilinçli olduğun anlamına gelir. Bilinçli olmak insana yük, sorumluluk getirir. Dışarıda iyi bir iş kadını, evine döndüğünde iyi bir eş, iyi bir anne olmak için gerçekten çaba sarf edeceksin, yılmadan bıkmadan. Aradan seneler geçtikçe emeğinin karşılığını göreceksin. Çocukların büyümüş, sorumluluk sahibi olmuş, ayakları üzerinde durabilen çocuklar...ne mutlu o zaman. Ben de bilinçli bir anne olarak çocuklarımı en iyi şekilde yetiştirdiğime inanıyorum.
Sizce yasalar önünde kadın ve erkek eşit midir?
Yasalar önünde çok eşit kanunlar olmasa da yine eşitlik var sayıyorum. Bizdeki eşitsizliğin biraz da gelenek, göreneklerimizden, örf ve adetlerimizden kaynaklandığına inanıyorum.
Evliliğin yürütülmeye çalışılması kadına fazladan bir yük getirir mi?
Evliliğin yürüyebilmesi için kadına çok büyük fedakarlıklar düşüyor. Bir erkek ne kadar geçimli olursa olsun, kadın eğer evdeki işlerin işleyişiyle ilgili yemek, temizlik, çocuklar, düzen, tertip, vs. İşleriyle ilgisizse o evde aksaklıklar çok olur. Mutsuzluk başlar. Mutsuzluğun başlamasıyla evden eş olsun, çoluk çocuk olsun kopmalar, problemler başlar. Aile temelinde sarsılmalar olur. İster eş, ister çocuklar eve gelip hazır sıcacık bir yemek bulduklarında mutlu olurlar. Bu da ailenin temel yapılarından sadece bir tanesini sağlamlaştırır.
